How The Flat Earth Society Got Rolling

by Neville Raymond

Two Illuminati were in the middle of a debate. 

The more worried one was having second thoughts about bamboozling the people.                                                            

         “Look”, he said, “people everywhere are catching on.  They no longer buy the official version of 9-11.  The numbers who question the moon landing increases every year we don’t return.  And even the Holocaust doesn’t command the blind faith it used to.”

            The more cynical of the two two pooh-poohed the whole trend.  
        “The people are and continue to be as dumb as ditch water.” 

“How can you say that”, protested the Worrywart.  “People are growing up too fast on the internet.  They are no longer buying our sophisticated iterations of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.  It’s harder than ever to make people believe in the impossible.”

“Don’t be a silly goose”, replied the Cynic dourly.  “People are as gullible as ever.”

Thoughtfully stroking his chin, the Cynic brightened.  

        “Tell you what, let’s put our money where our mouth is.  Let’s place a wager, shall we?  Pick the most preposterous idea you can think of, and I bet we can make millions of people believe it is true.”

“Like what”, asked the Worrywart.

“Well, how about the old medieval chestnut that the earth is flat.  Now there is an idea that was mothballed hundreds of years ago.” 

“Well”, reflected the Worrywart, “at least the literal-minded theologians will go for it.  Doesn’t the Bible say the earth is as flat as an IHOP pancake?”

“No, it says the earth is God’s footstool.  Same difference,” chuckled the Cynic.   

“At least it doesn’t say the earth is God’s medicine ball.  

         
          The Worrywart perked up.  "So shall we get the CIA on it?”

“No need.  Some English nutjob published a pamphlet on the flat earth back in the 19th century.  Later, in the middle of the 20th century, the space race had barely got going when some American crackpot picked up the cue and founded the International Flat Earth Society.”  

“OK, so how much do you want to bet?” asked the Worrywart.

“How about a nice round figure.  Ten million bucks.” said the Cynic.

“You’ll bet $10 million that people are that stupid?  Fine by me.  So how will we know who wins the bet?”

“When the membership rolls of the Flat Earth Society reaches a million true believers.”

“You got it”, said the Worrier.  “If we can get one million people to believe the earth is a flat disc, you’ve got yourself ten million bucks.  It’s worth my peace of mind, your know.  Who cares if more people than ever are seeing through 9-11 or the moon landing or the Holocaust. If a million people can be made to doubt the evidence of our satellite eyes in the sky, I stand corrected.  The masses can be made to believe in anything.”

And so the Flat Earth Society was launched, or rather, re-launched with little fanfare.  
            With membership down to a hundred diehard members as of a year ago, the Cynic is roundly losing the bet.  

           But the Worrywart is more than happy to lose just so he can regain his peace of mind.